Attachment Therapist in NYC

Attachment-Based Therapy in NYC

Do you find yourself caught in repetitive relationship dynamics—pursuing closeness only to feel pushed away, shutting down during conflict, or fearing abandonment when a partner pulls back? These patterns often stem from early relational experiences that shape how you connect with others as an adult. Working with an experienced attachment therapist in NYC provides a safe, supportive space to understand these deep-seated habits and build more secure, fulfilling connections. Attachment-based therapy helps individuals and couples move away from reactive relational cycles and cultivate deep trust, emotional safety, and intimacy.

Medically reviewed by Simona Shokrian, LCSW-R

What Is Attachment Theory

How Attachment Styles Form

Attachment theory, originally developed by John Bowlby and extended by Mary Ainsworth, explains how early bonds with primary caregivers create internal working models for future relationships. These early experiences establish your sense of safety, emotional regulation, and expectations about whether others are trustworthy and available.

Why Attachment Patterns Repeat

Because attachment patterns form early in life, they become automatic responses within the nervous system. In adult romantic relationships, friendships, and family dynamics, stress or perceived distance often activates these familiar defense mechanisms, leading people to repeat old coping styles even when they no longer serve them.

Common Attachment Patterns We Treat

Anxious Attachment

Individuals with anxious attachment often experience a deep fear of abandonment and a persistent need for reassurance. In relationships, this can manifest as overanalyzing a partner’s mood shifts, hyper-fixating on subtle changes in communication, or pursuing closeness intensely when feeling insecure.

Disorganized (Fearful) Attachment

Disorganized attachment involves a combination of anxious and avoidant dynamics—craving close connection while simultaneously fearing emotional intimacy. This often leads to a “come here, go away” relational cycle, where closeness feels both deeply desired and frightening.

Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment typically involves prioritizing self-reliance and emotional independence over intimacy. When conflict or emotional vulnerability arises, individuals with avoidant patterns may shut down, withdraw, minimize their feelings, or feel overwhelmed by emotional demands.

Secure Attachment as the Goal

Secure attachment is characterized by effective emotional regulation, clear communication of needs, comfort with vulnerability, and the ability to navigate conflict without fearing abandonment. Attachment-based therapy aims to foster “earned security,” helping you develop these healthy relational habits regardless of your past.

What Is Attachment Theory

In Romantic Relationships

In Friendships and Work

Our Approach to Attachment-Based Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT techniques help identify and reframe negative core beliefs about yourself and others (e.g., “I am unlovable” or “People always leave”). By altering unhelpful thinking patterns, you can change how you respond to relational triggers.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Therapy is a research-backed, evidence-based modality specifically designed to address attachment security. EFT helps individuals and partners identify negative interaction cycles, tune into primary emotional needs, and create new, secure bonding experiences.

Somatic and Nervous System Work

Because attachment wounds are held in the body, somatic practices help soothe physical distress and regulate the nervous system when fear or panic is triggered in relationships.

Individual vs. Couples Attachment Therapy

Working on your own patterns

Individual attachment therapy allows you to explore your personal attachment history, process past relational trauma, and build internal security. This solo work helps you establish stronger boundaries, improve self-soothing, and approach dating or partnerships with greater clarity. For many clients, this looks like ongoing individual therapy in NYC, where attachment patterns are just one part of a wider picture of personal growth.

Somatic and Nervous System Work

Because attachment wounds are held in the body, somatic practices help soothe physical distress and regulate the nervous system when fear or panic is triggered in relationships.

Working on the Cycle Together

Couples attachment therapy focuses directly on the dance between both partners’ styles—such as the common anxious-avoidant trap. Working together helps couples understand each other’s defense mechanisms, break reactive conflict patterns, and repair trust in real-time.

Meet Our Attachment Theory Specialists

Simona Shokrian, LCSW-R

Licensed Psychotherapist & Practice Director

Credentials & Training

Simona Shokrian is a licensed psychotherapist in New York with extensive clinical experience in psychodynamic, relational, and attachment-based therapies. With advanced training from the Ackerman Institute for the Family, she specializes in helping individuals and couples heal relational wounds, overcome communication barriers, and build secure connections. Sessions are available in English, Farsi, and French.

What to Expect in Attachment Therapy

Your First Consultation

In Building a Treatment Plan and Work

Start Anxiety Therapy in NYC Today

You do not have to navigate chronic worry or panic on your own. Take the first step toward lasting relief, regain your peace of mind, and schedule your initial consultation with an experienced anxiety therapist in NYC today.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does an attachment therapist do?

An attachment therapist helps clients identify how early relational patterns influence adult relationships. They provide evidence-based techniques to help you regulate your nervous system, communicate needs effectively, and develop secure attachment habits.

What is attachment-based therapy used for?

Attachment-based therapy is used to treat relational distress, fear of intimacy or abandonment, chronic reassurance-seeking, communication breakdowns in couples, and dating anxiety.

How do I know if I need a therapist for attachment issues?

If you notice consistent patterns of anxiety, withdrawal, or conflict in your relationships, or if you feel stuck repeating the same painful relational dynamics, working with an attachment specialist can help.

Is attachment therapy the same as couples therapy?

Not necessarily. While attachment therapy principles (like Emotionally Focused Therapy) are widely used in couples counseling, attachment-based therapy can also be conducted individually to focus on personal relational history and self-soothing skills.

Do attachment-based therapists only talk about childhood?

No. While understanding childhood caregiving dynamics provides important context, sessions focus heavily on present-day relationships, current behavioral habits, and actionable coping tools.

Can an attachment theory specialist help with dating anxiety?

Yes. An attachment specialist can help you navigate dating triggers, choose healthier partners, set firm boundaries, and reduce anxiety around vulnerability.